Everyone Knows There's No Money in Peace

As if this is a Surprise, our fearless leader isn't too keen on any possible peacekeeping mission to aid in the current Middle East crisis.

Of course Harper and his buddies aren't interested in it, there's no money in peace. They know the real money is in invading Lebanon and Syria and Iran and stripping them of all their natural resources. Now I support Israel on this, but not because I want these other countries as colonies of some North American country, I support them because the people running these other countries are sick and provoked them and I believe that they have a right to defend themselves. People may equate that to Dubya invading Iraq, but it's totally different. #1 Iraq didn't do anything to the U.S. #2 Iraq doesn't border the U.S. and is in fact thousands of miles away. and #3 IRAW DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO THE U.S.

Harper is an embarrassment, Canada is a country whose reputation will get tarnished every single day we let that man rule. We're a country that was founded on justice and promoting peace throughout the world. Now we have a war mongering leader. Thankfully he doesn't yet have total dictatorial control yet, but that day could be coming. He's already fooling many people with his government's passive approach to their key issues. They know they can't do what they really want so they don't even mention it at all, then people think "Oh, well the Liberals were wrong, these guys aren't so bad." That's like someone getting released from prison but with a 24 hour guard with them and then being declared no longer a threat to society.

The Second Best Blog in the Universe

People often stop me on the street and ask me "Hey Highness, I know you're the best blog in the universe, but which one is the second best?" Then, I pull a baseball bat out of nowhere and beat the crap out of them and tell them to mind their own business. A Suprising amount still want to know what the 2nd best blog is while being wheeled in to the ambulance. I figure they took a beatin from me, and didn't try to press bloody charges, so they're cool enough to know which one it is.

Now some people will think it's CalgaryGrit (bahahahahaaaaaaa) or Cherniak on Politics (Hells no, he's 3rd) or Bowie Call (Bowie is the man, but he's 4th) Or some other blog I've never even heard of. But the truth is it's It's The Northern Liberal.

Now putting his cult member like devotion to Gerard Depardieu, er I mean Kennedy (As evidenced by these latest Kennedy Campain Posters -Ed.) aside, Kyle (or as I call him the KC Express) is the 2nd best blogger in the world because he and I pretty much are on the same wavelength about most things. He hates Fascists, er I mean Conservatives as much as I do, and also he looks like the dude who played Fez on That 70's Show and that dude banged Lindsay Lohan (the 70's guy not the KC Express) so you gotta give him mad props there. Also, KC saved my life when I flew to the moon back in '69 dressed as Neil Armstrong. Seriously he was all "Look out!!!" and I'm like "Huh?" and he's like "Michael Collins is really Dr. Evil!!!111oneeleven" And then... Well, you know the rest. But anyway, there are a few things that you need to know about this situation:

#1) The key to being the 2nd best blogger in the universe is copying me, not verbatim or anything, any old Conservative hack could do that, but basically agree with everything I think and like it. So if you want to be the 2nd best, you need to basically do everything the KCmeister does except you gotta support Scott Brison, Also you could send Belinda Stronach to my hotel room in a bikini under her trenchcoat and with some flowers in her hair all 70's style, but that's only if you want extra credit.

#2) Lindsay Lohan is hot.

#3) Everyone must now visit The KC express' site, and add him to their personal blogrolls lest they be seen as uncool.

Class Dismissed.

Smile for the Camera

I was pretty impressed when the Harpherfuher decided to go to Cyprus to help out with the Lebanese refugee crisis. Was I impressed with the compassion it showed? No, we all know that wasn't there. No no, I was impressed at how quickly he's managed to convert Dubya's playbook into his own version. The only thing that shocked me about it was that he didn't try to make it a "surprise visit" like Dubya likes to do. I'm wondering when his first surprise visit to Afghanistan will be.

Unfortunately bullshit like this works on people. "Oh look at him, he went to Cyprus, he cares about those people." No he doesn't, he cares about votes and getting a majority so he can persecute many of these same people back in Canada. These kinds of trips make people think he's risking it all to support the troops, bullshit! Dubya, nor his lap dog Harper wouldn't think of setting foot off their planes if they thought they were in any danger. I also liked the nice touch he and his spin doctors added of allowing some refugees to come back to Canada on his plane. That was a heartwarming touch, say what you want about these people (and I will) but they are excellent when it comes to fooling people into thinking they care about anyone but themselves. They're like that girl, we've all had one in our lives, that pretends to like you until she gets what she wants out of you and then you wake up naked on your lawn and all your stuff has been stolen by her and flown to Tempe Arizona on your Credit Card. Ok maybe that was just me, but still you know what I mean.

Conservatism Makes My Head Hurt

I'm just wondering if other sane people (a.k.a. Liberals) share the same experiences when you try to listen to Conservatives weave their web of lies? For me, I really honestly can't stand to listen to a hard core Conservative speak for any more than a couple of minutes at a time, I try to read their posts and their blogs and my mind screams at me "YOU'D BETTER GET ME SOME SANITY QUICK OR I'M GOING TO EXPLODE!!!"

I mean, they're just SO WRONG it just defies description, it makes me depressed to think that there are human beings out there, with similar brain capacity and intellect to my own, that are so completely wrong about the way the world works. I was lying in bed last night and I thought to myself: Can I find some common ground with these people? And it came to me: No, I can't. I can't think of any part of mantra Conservatism that I agree with, even in the slightest. Every now and then I find myself agreeing with them on an issue, for example the current Israel vs Lebanon conflict I wrote about in my last post. But I think that's just law of averages. Even in this case I don't agree 100%.

Also, another thing that troubles me is how they can take a seemingly black and white situation and still manage to get it wrong.

Take this discussion:
Guy #1 (Leftie): In fact, the right-wing strategy has taken out Iran's biggest enemy, and weakened us so much that we're not really winning in either Afghanistan or post-Saddam Iraq, and we can't easily take on Iran and North Korea. What a mess the hawks have created! Get them out, and put in some solid liberal policies that use the carrot and the stick.

Guy #2: (Rightie): The carrot and stick is why Israel is now clearing out Hizbollah underground terrorist camps.

Um, HUH? Left wing policies are why the current conflict is happening? Um, tell me who's been in almost total power in all 3 branches of government in the U.S. for over 5 years now? Even if Clinton's policies were to blame (which of course they weren't) you've had 5+ years to clean up this phantom mistake. I think Right Wingers just have a neurological disorder, like Bill Maher says, that prevents them from grasping the ture nature of the world. I think we should offer free advanced learning to all Right Wing thinking people, to get them on our level, to join us in the 21st century from the 18th. It'd be quite a culture shock I'm sure, but they think they're pretty strong and tough so they can probably handle it. I should start an "Adopt a Rightie" program, where all the sane people of the world take a Rightie into their home and teach him about totally new concepts like tolerance and the like. I might be on to something here!

Israel vs Lebanon

I imagine after this post a lot of people are going to hate me, but Hell, a lot of people already hate me. They're called Conservatives! (Zing! -Ed.) In fact, I even hate myself for agreeing with George "Dubya" Bush on anything, but I have to agree with him on at least part of this. Israel has every right to defend themselves. Now some people will say they're going way too far, but my view on it is they're the only sane ones in that whole region of the world. Every single time there is a peace treaty or agreement Israel holds up their end of the bargain and the opposing force doesn't. They made peace with Lebanon so Lebanon lets Hezbollah roam free on their southern border and invade Northern Israel and KIDNAP THEIR SOLDIERS whenever their sick little hearts feel like it. I mean Hezbollah is part of the Lebanese government for christ's sake! They've got a terror group as part of their government. Imagine if the province next to you elected a terror group as part of their government. (Although British Columbians and Saskatchewanians might feel that way sometimes)

So, I'm fully with Israel on this one, I say invade Lebanon and then Syria and then Iran and Saudi Arabia, and so on, seriously folks the governments in these countries don't think like you and I, they don't even think Israel has a right to exist. They're about 611 years behind the rest of the world. Also, so I don't get labeled a rascist let me tell you I'm not referring to the regular people in these countries just trying to live their lives, I'm referring to the regimes that control these countries. If anywhere needs regime change more than the U.S. and Canada it's the freakin Arab sections of the Middle East. I think Bill Maher said it best:

It's in the Middle, which is why Christopher Columbus was trying to find another way. People said to him "Chris if you do this you're gonna die." and he said "I'd rather sail off the edge of the world than deal with those people one more day."

And the Endorsement Goes To....

Scott Brison.

I wasn't going to endorse anyone, because I figure what the Hell is the point it's not like it matters? I think that Bloggers who do endorse people overestimate their importance in our political and social system, but meh Cerberus was makin a list, and he saved my life in Nam (Last year, we went and he jumped on some bad rice for me.) So I figured I'd let all my loving fans know who I support and use my massive power to sway the victory in Brison's favor. Also, I figured I'd save the party the bother of going through a convention. Now that I've endorsed Brison it's impossible for anyone else to win.

Seriously tho, my biggest concern is the horrible quality of candidates we have, Brison is the only one that doesn't scare the shit out of me. Bob "Kiss Ontario Seats Goodbye" Rae? Michael "I Haven't Lived In Canada For Years" Ignatief, As for Kennedy I dunno about this guy. To be fair I don't know a lot about him, but something about the way a lot of my peers started viewing him as the messiah and pledging to commit suicide in a Manison in Rancho Santa Fe California if he isn't elected that irks me.

Anyway, Beam Me Up Cerby!

Courts Last Hope for Sunday Sanity in Nova Scotia

Article

Sobeys has decided to take the Province to court over their moronic Sunday Shopping Double Switch. I can only hope that the judge sees through Premier Ronald Rodney MacDonalds attempt to impose his will as law and strike own the nonsense.

Bravo to Superstore

I'd just like to give a big hat tip to the Real Atlantic Superstore for defying Premier Ronald Rodney MacDonald's Moronic Adjustment to the Sunday Shopping law. Article I hope this means a legal challenge is in the offing, and I hope the courts blow this outrage right out of the water. Shame on Sobeys for not joining with Superstore to fight the idiocy that is Conservatism.